Farewell
by SogaBan
Summary: Shepard had destroyed the collector base, helped Liara eliminate the Shadow broker, eliminated the entire Batarian system. Currently on shore leave. But he knows that time has come to bid farewell to his team members... How does he handle it?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

With the suicide mission over with nil casualties, Normandy has docked in the Citadel. Shepard has met with the council in person and debriefed them about the details of the entire collector saga. Without any surprise the council still seemed sceptical about the existence of the Reapers accounting the Collectors as just another genetically twisted off-shoot of the Protheans. Disgusted with their continued denial, Shepard left them and headed for Ilium for a month shore-leave.

Dr. T'Soni has terminated the ever-permeated Shadow-broker with the help of Shepard and his friends and has herself assumed the role of new Shadow-broker. This event took place soon after the Collector ship mission when Shepard thought if he can help Liara eliminating the Shadow-broker and rescuing Feron then she may agree to join his cause just like old times. But he was wrong!

Before acquiring the Reaper-IFF, Shepard has also destroyed the mass relay in the Batarian space while rescuing Dr. Amanda Kenson from the planet Aratoht (where he went alone after receiving a request from Admiral Hackett), thereby delaying the Reaper Invasion and accounting for over 2000000 death. There he witnessed the Reaper-artefact vision one more time and have confronted with Harbinger who in turn threatened him to wait for their final Arrival. After returning and meeting Hackett in the Normandy med-bay, he had to convince himself that somewhere down the timeline he has to face the music of what he had done to Batarian system.

John Shepard is a soldier by class and by heart. An earthborn without any family, he joined the Alliance, whether by fate or destiny he doesn't know (but that's a different story). He was awarded the _**Star of Terra**_ award after he had almost single-handedly dealt with the Batarian pirates and slavers at Elysium, thereby saving hundreds of lives in the human colony.

Shepard, as he views himself, is actually alone, very much alone in his mind; though he shares a great camaraderie with his squad members, he had not yet picked up any love interest. He sometimes considers himself solitarist in his personal life but never ever let his friends understand this, though some of them (like Kelly, Kasumi, Samara, Miranda and Dr Chakwas) have guessed his all-time loneliness. Shepard had always thought that he may be suffering from a disease where a person gets pleasure in the agony by isolating himself from the rest. He had tried really hard to have a control on this issue. Hence, he had made it his routine since Normandy SR1, to visit and interact with each and every squad members twice a day, if possible, with a hope that this initiative will help him get over with his condition.

While he had been following this up as a 'medicine' initially, later his routine became his addiction to share and feel the joy, miseries and sufferings of his fellow team-mates; treading on which he developed great friendships of various degrees and variation with all the squad-mates. He truly considers all of them as his family. Feeling so he has tried, till his last sweat, to help them in every way possible – to help someone uniting with either the sister, who was in danger by her own father or the son who became disconnected, to help someone finding ten-year lost father or one time student and colleague, to help killing the daughter by her own mother or the long-time lost mate who blew half the other's face or to convince someone not to shoot someone who has betrayed his own teams, to help someone rescuing either the dead lover and his memories or from the dreadful memories developed in a abominated Cerberus base, to help someone either finding a clan and a krantt or helping clear the name in a case of falsely unjustified treason.

For Shepard even the Geth platform was evolving – not an evolution from unicellular to multi-cellular organism but from inorganic sentience to an organic consciousness, which goes true for the ship's artificial intelligence also. Shepard in other sense was really fascinated by life all across, by consciousness ever pervading. Perhaps, this was the reason he was so bull-headed to conserve and help life all across the galaxy even if it meant by his own life.

As for other relations were concerned, Kasumi had got Jacob crushed on her which was a huge gossip few months back until they were 'officially' declared as a couple just after the Hagalaz mission.

While there has been something going on between Joker and Kelly but none were able to catch them 'red-handed' as both of the couple has been playing safe till date. It was Dr. Helen Chakwas and Dr. Mordin Solus who saw the smoke first and guessed there would be fire - told the commander during one of his routine round.

The ex-convict who never even dreamt of in her wildest nightmare to consider the 'Cerberus bitch' to be even an acquaintance has now developed a peculiar love-hate relationship with 'her' cheerleader. Though Miranda is not sure of the prognosis but it was evident to her and even all other crews that both of them are presently grazing on a land beyond friendship.

Sometimes back there was a spicy gossip that the ex-mercenary warlord has some crush on the Normandy's doctor, the feeling which probably developed soon after the collectorship mission where he suffered a near fatal injury to his chest and was in the med-bay for a week or so. Though Helen apparently pretended ignorance about this but confessed to her commander after both of them shared a bottle of Serrice Ice brandy after Zaeed's recovery. Now-a-days both the doctor and the mercenary warlord are seen together either in the med-bay or in the mess gossiping or god-knows-what. To everybody's surprise, the mercenary warlord has undergone 180 degree rotation in his attitude after this 'relation' with the doctor. He has become a father-like figure to Jack and a mentor to the tank-bred Krogan, though till today he has not ceased his past habit of exorbitant story-telling even if getting a small window of opportunity.

The drell assassin and the turian had developed a friendship so far that Kasumi, Kelly and Jack termed them as gays, though that was not the reality.

The salarian genius was sometimes found wondering in the cargo-port with Grunt or sometimes in the Starboard observatory with the Justicar. When asked he would say that he was working on something to do with Krogan regeneration and Asari biotic abilities.

Legion and the quarian engineer have developed an excellent working relationship and often found quarrelling like an old-married couple on some tech issues either in the server-room or in the engineering bay. It was Legion who first intercepted a message from Tali sent to Kal Reegar (obviously without Tali's knowledge) immediately after Tali was cleared out from the charge of treason, where the stout quarian marine and Veetor had helped Shepard gaining the control of the house. When the geth showed the message to the commander requesting John to help the 'platform' to understand the emotional aspects of organic relationship, the poor commander – after going through the message felt steam erupting from his ears; increased breathing; cheeks and the nasal muscle so red – which made the geth declare that its commander was about to explode; that Shepard had to rush to the bathroom in his quarter to sate his primitive urges and save his face from the embarrassment in front of the inorganic platform. Perhaps from that day onwards he mentally determined not to check any 'private' message and also warn the same to the geth platform.

Gabby and Ken, though thought themselves to be over smart that their boss won't be able to guess about their budding relationship, but one day was caught red-handed by the master thief. While Tali staged the drama of going to the women's restroom, giving the couple a chance to be desperate but had Kasumi waiting hidden in the engineering bay just to jump on to the ripest moment when both the junior engineers were embracing each other in a kiss, probably more than passionate. The poor couple had no place to hide their embarrassment, knowing the entire act was recorded by the thief in her omni-tool. That day – both – the quarian and the thief had a laugh of their life.

It was Tali and Kelly who noticed that the ship's AI was acting out of the line when it came to Legion. Though, as per Tali, EDI was more 'mature' in relationship matter but it was still the geth who was having a headstrong trouble in building consensus on romance and facing great hardship in developing new codes on this front to be included in its runtime. Later, the ship's pilot told everyone that EDI has developed one-sided love with the inorganic platform while he was having his mid-day meal in the mess and nearly everyone present. Probably, as an act of revenge, EDI openly declared the relationship Joker was having with the ship's yeoman; as a consequence of which Joker nearly choked to death with food particles stuck in his wind-pipe; Kelly while being served by the Normandy cook – lost control and dropped her food-tray with ear-splitting cling and noise creating a muddle of splattered meat, loaf and health-soup all over the mess-floor. The turian was having his meal with a spoon in his right hand while supporting his weight on the table with his left elbow – suddenly found his elbow slipped and got his face smacked on his food tray which made Jacob choke so much that his eye-ball made such an appearance, as it were, they were about to come out of their sockets. Kasumi, who was sitting beside the ex-alliance, on an attempt to resuscitate Jacob from choking while stroking his back and chest got her hand accidentally hit on the food-tray held by Zaeed (who was trying to find a place to seat and have his meal) the mercenary got off balance - in order to stabilize the tray swayed his hips and hands like circus gymnast – finally failed miserably slipping and landed on his butt with the food tray landing on his head upside down creating another earth shattering noise of utensils and obscenities by the mercenary himself. Jack while watching all the events and having tough time suppressing her laughter finally gave up and had burst out with mirth so strong that the food which was in her mouth shot out like a concussive round and hit Miranda straight in her face who was sitting just opposite to her. Seeing this, the tank-bred Krogan who was just entering the mess hall bursted out in laughter failing to see Zaeed on the floor, just stumbled on to him and lost his foot-hold on a scattered meat-piece and slipped on Zaeed's left leg with a bone crunching sound. Zaeed was on the verge of human sanity while uttering words so obnoxious which otherwise would have melted a pack of varrens. Overall, it was a complete and typical definition of chaos. Later that day, Zaeed's was again admitted to Med-bay for 6 days with a fracture on his left lower leg; obviously much to his delight he thought to thank EDI for giving him another opportunity to spend the time with Helen.

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><p><strong>AN -** First time writing a fiction. Please be gentle. Am not a tech guy - in the sense I may not be quoting technically correct terms from the game. My purpose is to enhance member interaction either in the form of camaraderie or romance or humor from everyone's point of view. Would appreciate the reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Ilium is a free-trade world. One of his team mates had rightly mentioned that Ilium is just another Omega with expensive shoes that one wrong sign and you're in neck deep trouble.

Before finally deciding about the shore-leave, Shepard had talked with nearly everyone in the Normandy to know what they had in their mind – though few preferred Citadel over everything else, majority favoured Ilium, yet there was a stray suggestion about the 'The Hock's Castle' in Bekenstein, even a suggestion for Omega. One thing Shepard knew for sure was that – whatever else may happen he was not going to end up his free-time fighting with gang wars again, considering the so diverse characteristics of his team; thus, Omega was struck out from the list in the first place.

He knew their accommodation was arranged by his XO and probably, as he guessed, with the help of Liara. Hotel Azure is one of the most posh hotels in Ilium; and once the crews came to know that it also comes with an exotic edge, everyone one so animated that they were barely able to conceal their excitement on their face in front of their commander – as Shepard saw, once he officially announced the leave in the CIC.

While he entered his room in the hotel, he gave a quick glance and was more than astounded to see the aristocracy and the erudition of the interior decoration.

Back in the days of his training in the Alliance, he remembered – he only had a cot, a small table and a personal locker. He had sometimes joked himself thinking what exactly he had for HIMSELF to store in a locker! However, the Alliance arrangement – to him was in one way – 'what-else-one-can-dream'. As in his childhood days on Earth, he had slept on the floor in his uncle's house. In those days he only fantasized to have slept on a bed wrapping a quilt, especially during the cold seasons. In most of those nights he had got special assignments from the local drug-dealers – so in other times he mostly slept, sitting on the crates inside the dark, damp, foul-smelling and condemned garages, where the gang-leader or the drug dealers would set up their bases of operations.

Sometimes Shepard wondered about the transition of his life from an anonymous gang-member to an N7 marine and finally a Spectre! Even in his early teenage years, he didn't find any other reasons to have an ambition more than becoming the 'leader' of a gang. Shepard had no image of his mother, who died on the process of child-birth. His father was too busy with his drug business to even remember the birthdays of his only child. Ronald (his father) had set up his heinous commerce along with his elder brother whom he lost during a cross-fire while both of them were on one of their several deliver operations. Shepard was raised along with his two senior cousin brothers by his aunt.

Till the age of eight years, John seemed to be less bothered about their family business, attending a local school he would have his childhood fantasies and all... Then the day came when he lost his father to another gang-war and was forced to join the family business under the pressure of his aunt. All that he had been dreaming during these many days were perished under the twisted _will_ of the Fate. To have said 'neglected' and 'exploited' to judge the next phase of his life was like giving an honour to the kid.

Shepard had never known what it is to have a mother – hence, the concept of motherly affection was something alien to him. His aunt was a witch – in all sense – who not only spitted out foul words to the young Shepard but also behaved the same way to her own off-springs. And in those days the only friends he had were his two elderly cousins – Niel who was 7 years senior and Charles who was 4 years senior to him. All these went through with lots of toughs and crests till he was sixteen.

Probably, the Fate finally decided to turn the kid upside down and make him prepared for his destiny in the years to come.

That night, as John remembers, they had just finished their supper and along with Niel and Charles, he was preparing for the night operation, as usual. While his aunt was busy packaging the small drug pouches, Niel was making jokes on Charles about the fact how Charles has got a 'crush' on the youngest daughter of their gang-leader. Shepard was enjoying watching silently the two ever-bickering twins.

Suddenly, Franko, the one-time right hand of his father, busted through the door panting heavily with a face full of horror and agony. Everyone inside the room was startled by the unexpected rush, concentrated on the visitor with uncanny and perpetrated anticipation. Franko was bleeding heavily from a large gaping wound on his right lower abdomen. He was trying really hard to cease the blood-flow with his right hand, but on the process failing, leaving his costumes stained with fresh deep red. His speech was staggered and jumbled, his eyes were coming out of their sockets and he was desperately trying to wave his free hand to all of them indicating to flee. He could barely stand and dropped on the floor hard, only to increase his agony further. With all effort what John and his family could make sense was that – they have been attacked and exposed by the rival gang and their house has probably been flanked from all the three sides and that they must immediately leave, should they wish to survive.

Without a moment's hesitation, Niel grabbed Charles and John – threw them to the corner of the room and himself tried to take a cover on the opposite side of the room; alas! He was too late. The windows being open, the goons outside had already got him marked – three bullet shots hit straight in his chest while the fourth one passed through his wind-pipe dropping him dead beside the dying Franko. Sara (Shepard's aunt) was in the opposite corner of the room, she tried her best to take a cover between two crates while switching off the room lights. Once the room was dark, John and Charles heard the footsteps outside the entrance of the house – they were trying to blow the door open!

Both the kids and Sara felt that they were nearing their last moments. But John had never ever given up so easily in all short span of his life. The Fate, in her twisted whims, might have played and ridiculed the kid in the worst ways possible, may have tried her level best to bring the boy down to his knees but unknowingly only have made him stronger, more determined and more resolved, in the process. Probably, it was the goddess of Destiny who was still harbouring some hope in her mind to meet with the boy some day.

John elbowed Charles and whispered something into his ears. Both crawled to the bathroom which was jus few steps away from their location. Sara was in the opposite side of the room, she heard the sound of the bathroom door open. The bellows of the unholy laughter outside their house had increased by this time and there were filthy bark from the goons – threatening the survivors inside the house to the core of their hearts. Sara tried to quickly cross the distance to get to the bathroom but stumbled on the two corpses only to get a loud knock to her head, seeing stars.

Inside the bathroom, John tried to dismantle the glasses from the window sills. Once there was a wide berth, he squeezed through the opening, falling straight on the garbage dump with a silent thump and a dull throbbing pain to the back of his head. Charles being stouter and less agile had great difficulty squeezing through the opening.

By the time Shepard came out of the garbage dump, he looked upward to see Charles head peeping through the opening and then – there was a huge explosion – the darkness inside being shattered with the bright golden orange hue of the blast.

The entrance was whacked! Once the way was clear the gang open fired through the darkness. Sara had no chance, got caught in between the surge of bullets and met with her destiny.

Marcos, who was leading the gang, had some warped gut-feeling that something was not going as per the preparation. He ordered his men to cease fire and entered the room. The room was filled with streaks and rays of light coming out from their torches. They saw the dead bodies.

"Where are the KIDS?" Marcus shouted impatiently.

Charles got desperate and on his careless attempt, forgot to keep up the stealth – splintered several glasses under his feet and then unexpectedly realized it was "stale-mate". On his last effort he could only yell, "Run. John. Run" before a barrage of shells left his body obliterated. John only saw the eyes got lifelessly fixed on him and Charle's body limply fell on the garbage can. His vision was blurred, he could not stop crying and he felt so helpless. But his limbic system, behind the back of his brain, urged him to run – _the three basic characteristics of a life – growth, response to a stimulus and multiplication_.

Marcus rushed to the bathroom; he peeped his head out of the window and saw the kid running. He started firing at the direction. "Get. The. Boy!"

John felt a sense of pointed excruciating pain on his left shoulder and stumbled on to the road. It was too much for the unconditioned juvenile body! Despite all the ache and emotional mayhem, he clenched his teeth hard, got up and started running again as fast as he could. He could hear the sounds of gun-fire behind him and the monstrous scream and shouts of the gangs. He knew they were coming after him.

In his front, John saw the contorted reflection of the moon on the running stream water which carried industrial waste from a nearby manufacturing industry. To the locals, the water was a curse – one could hardly think of even walking along the stream, not to talk of swimming across it.

But John never had the luxury of options in his life – one more foul play of the Fate. He drew a deep breath as much as he could manage and dived into the water. The stream spanned 50 to 60 meters at most and current was feeble. With last pump of his will he swam across to the other side – his body was literally on the verge of lock-down. But John could see the lights in the not-so-distant colony, he could also see two or three cop like figures guarding the entrance - _from frying pan to fire_ – the Fate devilishly smiled at the kid probably, for the last time.

The last image he had in his mind before his body finally collapsed on the road unconscious was the lifeless stare of Charle's eyes, his body being mutilated by the gun-fire.

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><p><strong>AN1:** For me Shepard is an encyclopaedia of pain and sufferings, an idol of negligence and exploitations, a statue of strong will and survival. It was not that the commander, as we see today, was built in a day. It was the series of events which started when the first sign of survival was announced by the triumphant sperm (of his father) gaining entry into the ovum (of his mother) and which continued through the birth trauma, his childhood days – making his existence a living hell out of the innocent and immature mind. I'll try to bring out these aspects of the Shepard's life. And well... this is one of my futile attempts to project a picture of his early days and how he stepped on the podium of life to become the man as he is today. Reviews are much appreciated.

**A/N2:** I am not a sadist ;) in case one falsely figures. I couldn't exactly figure out ratings for this fiction; so preferred 'M' just to play safe. As far as category/genre is concerned it involves – Drama/hurt/romance/humour/friendship.


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